#ow i hurt myself with this one
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man we all know charlie had an emo phase but I really wanna explore the possibility she wasn't always the charlie we see now. she wasn't always gentle or kind or optimistic and all of those things are hard-won after battling the opposite. that maybe at some point, bitterness and anger and spite started eating her alive and she changed for herself first. that her kindness is selfish at its root, that her altruism is self-serving above all else, because if she kept on the same path, there might be nothing else left of her. and at some point it stopped being about her and started to be about others.
and as a bonus? this version of charlie would pair perfectly with a version of vaggie who wasn't always guilt-ridden, who truly believed in her cause. who was lethal and ruthless and loved what she did because she believed and ultimately it was what did her in. who had truly never hesitated before that child, because extermination wasn't just a necessity, it was a game. entertainment.
idk I just. I love their dynamic already so much but the contrast of charlie becoming optimistic for herself vs vaggie developing guilt and shame over others, and both of them finding the harmony between those extremes?
#idk i think about them a lot#its like almost a dark!charlie au but not exactly yknow#vaggie being happy and carefree and steadfast in her beliefs before her fall#the angst potential is ugh#chef kiss#anyway#chaggie#charlie morningstar#vaggie hazbin hotel#vaggie#hazbin hotel#rainbowmoth#to some extent i do think charlies optimism is a front#not like shes disingenuos#but where alastor smiles so nobody knows whats going on under the surface (manipulative)#charlie smiles so nobody knows whats going on under the surface (defensive)#if she smiles through the pain did it really happen?#if she laughs at jokes at her own expense do they still hurt?#ow i hurt myself with this one#and then imagine vaggie never experiencing shame or guilt or regret before she fell#imagine how much worse those would feel the first time experiencing them#her entire world drops out from under her and it leaves scars#both physically AND mentally#but her scars make her softer#gentler#but also sadder and yes more defensive#just not the same way charlie is#the two of them seeing gentleness borne of violence in each other#UGH i have to write it dont i
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Who wants to be sad???
I just started a new playthrough and was reminded that Gale didn't seem to be too familiar with the area around Baldur's Gate. Like that's not where the nautiloid picked him up.
So if he wasn't picked up in Baldur's Gate, then he must have been picked up in Yartar (the city where the nautiloid knocks over a tower in the opening cinematic).
Look at where Yartar is in relation to Waterdeep:
If Gale was picked up in Yartar, that means he was traveling north.
Traveling north like he was headed towards one of the least populated areas of Faerun.
I think he was going there to die.
#ow#i think i hurt myself with that one#BG3#Baldur's Gate 3#bg3 headcanons#Gale#Gale of Waterdeep#Gale Dekarios#Gale BG3#BG3 Gale#my poor baby#I love him so much
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i broke my ankle today! so ofc i must project myself onto Wally as usual! i dont know how to use or draw crutches!
#im so much faster crawling around than on those dumb crutches#im used to crawling around at work!#ahahahaha these are so funny to me!#i also dont know to say ow when hurt! or scream or gasp!#i was just like oooh i broke it.....#im so so sorry for puppet booty....#if this gets taken down for ONE lil ol buttcheek i SWEAR#wally darling#jazzdoodles#welcome home#whps#meme#i forgot the cast in that one but ok its before he was casted up#also also its the other foot oops#its my left foot#but im right handed and plus i drew it on my left if that makes sense???#projecting myself onto wally is so so so much fun!#if i must suffer than so shall he!!#out of love!!!!
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Marineford spoilers :(
Do you
Do you ever think about the guilt Ace must have felt in his last moments of life. Luffy told him “being alone hurts worse then anything” and he knows since sabo is gone. He’s leaving Luffy alone. Like he KNOWS Luffy has his crew. And he knows they would do anything for him. But he also knows your crew and your brother are two different things. He’s leaving him alone. He’s hurting Luffy more than any injury he could suffer in this stupid war over him could.
#I hurt myself with this one chief#portgas d ace#marineford#one piece#asl brothers#monkey d. luffy#if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes suck my digital dick#rambles#ow
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8962770c85ee2b35260df84f035d9337/b497e82cc6b5a797-36/s540x810/570a473c926e5c7713f9ed819fa33893e3cf0cbb.jpg)
Do you ever look back at your younger self and find you feel nothing but contempt for who you once were?
#mega man x#mmx#megaman x#mega man zero#mmz#mmz X#cyber elf x#mmz original x#when i'm bored at work i draw on the recipt paper#ok i might've hurt myself with this one...#ow... im so sorry X...
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starting 2025 in classic fashion: with a "quick study" and a very crampy drawing hand
#ow#maybe tomorrow i will get her to less 20s vibes and more ancient fantasy land vibes#courtesy of SNOOD#as well as actually finishing the peplos-ish dress + adding the rest of the necklace#and then. the fur mantle/cloak thing#and then we will look at the bg#follow up question for myself: why the fuck did i decide doing this all on one layer was a good idea#anyway. i have not eaten dinner and my hand hurts like a fucker#so time for a pause#my wips
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Too sick to do pretty much anything but also bored as hell. Been spinning the southdown flax blend on my espinner cause why not, nobody has ordered any and I can make more if they did.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6710d3220c973ba4334250195d425836/7d5fd43a091f3313-b0/s540x810/24f0de740cf608b02e71dc8982ec76eeb3864dcd.jpg)
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It's a very interesting spin. I spun a sample before I put it up for sale to make sure it wasn't awful, which it's not; but it is difficult. Not sure I would have been able to spin it before I learnt how to spin flax. You gotta keep an eye on both components as you work, making sure you're not leaving the southdown behind or letting the flax bunch up. It's easy once you are used to it, but still different.
The espinner I got working a little better by seating the drive band correctly. Still not a fan of the fact that I'm not directly in control of the speed... on a wheel or spindle I often want to slow down or stop but it's a pain on the espinner and it leads to uneven yarn. These things are weird.
Anyway. Dont know what I'll do with it but it's nice to spin again. Have been having trouble using my supported spindles bc of my shoulders. I know there's a way to lay down where you can spin supported without shoulder pain; the issue is I can't lay in one position for very long bc then everything else hurts. And of course supported is what i switched to after wheel spinning was too painful, which i got into because drop spindling was too painful. Can you tell how upset I am that spinning is being slowly taken from me. Haha. Anyway. Glad for the espinner in this regard.
#just had my first appointment w an EDS phys therapist and everything hurts#also dont know if i have it as we couldnt get thru everything in one session#clearly am hypermobile but not in the usual joints and not in the usual way#like...my sister would probably get the highest score on the beighton test (spelling ??) but also has no problems#meanwhile i would get a very low score but cant shift in bed without every joint subluxating#aaaanyway. ow.#am watching minecraft videos and spinning and very very hungry but :) cant make myself food as i can barely move#imagine having a carer#or like any support at all. in any way. imagine that#:/#spinning#flax#southdown#espinner#disability
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I. Did not achieve a lot today (understandable considering the circumstances), but. You need to See.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a813af964e8c619f39eac586f5c4851d/df01cf7dc95a7227-10/s540x810/6c179a8d5e8a0394cfe3c665e7c4c51dbeed7a90.jpg)
The SADDEST. SOGGIEST. Sharena I have EVER drawn.
Also maybe a little snippet as a treat...
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You'll have to fight my messy roughs and handwriting for it though 😤😤😤
#wip#i think. maybe i can just allow myself to relax. ease up on the intense paranoia that plagues me.#mostly because i want to make things painful. actually.#not just bittersweet. so sweet it fucking hurts. it aches and aches and aches and aches. ect.#i actually don't have a lot of faith in my ability to finish this one. firstly i wanted to just do one page#but after all my practice i've gotten a p good feel for pacing. and this feels like it's a two-pager#and i Know. i know. the fucking. lvl 40 convo comic.... i KNOW.#but also. just in general. some things are just so agonizing. to try and yank out of me.#so L + ratio + more work than i bargained for + owuch. ouugh. ow. ouch. owie. owww....#last bit of context is this takes place shortly after zacharias' disappearance.#although i'm actually not sure how i want to go about that. if i wanna see if i can show it in the comic itself#like all i'd need really is one flashback panel just showing the immediate aftermath of 'where is zacharias?' after battle#or if i'd imply it through the text or if straight up. i just say it in the caption. honestly entirely depends#well i was gonna joke depends on how lazy i feel but more like. i think it's more parsing out where my focus Should be.#all of this is granting that i can. fucking. even get to a proper rough draft. i'm not hopeful.#but do you see my visions...... maybe....#esp them falling back on each other HARD. doing something that maybe both swore to 'grow out of'#in the wake of an extremely disorienting and traumatic event. that hits each of them uniquely hard.#and through the growing pains you see. oh. this is how they grew up. this is how they've always been.#when. they could be.#my art
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Wylan:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cedc0a7370ec26075122e41868f04041/f8e39cf756ce86c4-1e/s540x810/aa0e9cc99ddbe2d319fe5b92e0977fc4971cd7e3.jpg)
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Inej:
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Jesper:
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Kaz:
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Nina:
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Matthias:
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#soz yall#hurt my own feelings with this one#i was 👌🏻 this close to putting i could have been someone who lived for mattias#but it fit kaz better#what I went with for Matthias hurt my feelings more for him#i just reviewed it before posting and ow#im taking myself to jail for this#ok kaz gets two#my crows#my bubs#soc#six of crows#soc incorrect quotes#shadow and bone#wylan van eck#jesper fahey#inej gafha#kaz brekker#nina zenik#matthias helvar
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That's the thing about dreams. They all come to an end - once we wake up.
>>> Next (Coming Soon!) <<< Previous
(Destiny Bond; a Pokémon fancomic --- pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7, pt.8, pt.9, pt.10, pt.11, pt.12, pt.13, pt.14, pt.15, ???)
#Destiny Bond comic#AT LONG LAST ASJDJDFSKDFNS#this was Wayyy overdue for an interlude-type update goodness gracious#but at long last after a whole lot of adjustments with my medications I'm finally not sedated on them anymore !!!#and I'm certain that's noticeable with how differently each panel's drawn here huhu 🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️#a sort of bridging update to bring us back to present cause surprise that was a whole flashback sequenceSKJDFSJKDFNSD#SUDDENLY REMEMBERING WHERE THIS COMIC ALL STARTED /LH /LH#but oh babey it's good to be back#I owe it to y'all (and myself) following a literal month between this and the previous one honestly aksjdhasnd#ooouOOUHGhg I can't wait to hurt these two even moreSDJFHUISDN /J /UNLESS#pokemon#pokemon fancomic#fancomic#comic#pokemon gsc#pokemon hgss#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#morty#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#eusine#sacredshipping#morty/eusine#morty x eusine
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÷
#i feel a lot of shit today. mostly just disgust and guilt with myself. i feel like I'm a bad person. I feel like I'm doomed to this cycle.#i use people‚ disrespect them‚ expect them to do what i ask/tell them‚ and get incredibly defensive when called out on my behaviours.#i think a lot about how i treated the people in my life. i miss them a lot but i think about how i hurt them more.#I'm not trying to beat myself up here. i just need to remember every once in a while that. i fuck up. i need to do better. i need to listen#I've learned a lot but i realised i don't really know much.#anyway.#I'm still alive. still homeless. still looking for work. still trying to pay people back.#i owe my ex over a thousand still and i feel like I'm gonna throw up every time i think about it.#he hasn't asked for it or really even messaged me since the talk after he broke up with me. but like. i owe him.#he was truly like. not a perfect man but he was a genuinely kind and patient person and he deserved better than me.#idk i just. i feel a lot of guilt. i hurt people very deeply and personally and it's not okay. i feel like I am evading punishment.#today's one of those days where I'm just grappling with despair.#if you read this whole thing. send a 🍓 emoji.
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The real villain is the gods, it always has been. But the way its being set up early, years before it is in the books is so wonderfully done.
We don't get to see Annabeth truly denounce her mother till the mark of Athena in the books. But,
"eat of be eaten. power and glory and nothing else matters. ares is that way. zeus is that way. my mother, is that way. HE isn't that way. he's better than that. maybe I was that way once, but I don't wanna be that way anymore. I won't be like all of you. I just won't"
She looks at Percy, a boy she's known for less than a month, and sees someone more worthy of her devotion, her emulation; than her mother, than the very gods themselves. and it is his humanity, his love, his loyalty, that she respects, that she wants to embody. He loves so honestly, so freely, and that's something she's never experienced.
Annabeth is so young, but so are all the campers, so deeply entrenched in the doctrine their godly parents give them, "get enough kleos and maybe I will know your name, maybe I will love you. Strive to be ME." and when she needed her mother most, she was punished, for the actions of another. But perhaps that was all it took for little, incredibly smart, so very smart Annabeth to understand that no matter her devotion, her attempts to be godly, her mother would never love her, because her mother barely knew her name let alone valued it enough to love her.
#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#percy jackson series#annabeth chase#pjo#ow i hurt myself#lets talk about the petty shit heads that are the gods#hephaestus is okay i guess#to desire a god's love and recognition is to write one's own damnation because to be a god is to live without love or empathy#a god cannot love you in the way you need because to a god you are but a blip but to you they are everything and that is not love
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#that urge to delete everything and disappear is hitting again.#sometimes it feels like having an online presence is more harmful than it is good.#if im going onto a website or a platform and getting upset more times than im not whats the purpose in using the site.#cant just up and cut everyone and thing out of my life though#that would hurt so many good people#no running. not again.#and yet i cant help but feel responsible for it all. i cant help but get upset about everything thats happened this year.#i cant help but feel like im fundamentally broken. that i cant heal or be better.#i dont know that i deserve to sometimes but i keep trying and trying#i feel like i owe it to others in a similar postion#how would everyone ive known feel if i was just. gone one day?#what if i died tomorrow.#what would happen to the people i care about#my pet cat#do i even really know what it means to care about others anymore?#do i do it right or do i ruin everything i touch.#maybe it would be better if i stopped trying. gave in. just once. im so tired.#just stopped trying. after all ive always been told i was never any good.#screaming into the void. doing all i can not to give into these harmful urges against myself all the time.#i want to be loved and cared for. i just think sometimes i dont know what that is.#maybe i cant learn. maybe i cant heal.#then again maybe i can. i guess maybe thats why im still here.#i hope someday i can believe that im truly cared for and that i won't be abandoned again.#losing people makes you feel jaded and hurt. although i understand why what happened#happened.
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gonna be real I am already so over this whole medical issue thing
#I just want to be able to sleep at night and not feel dead all the time#next stop the cardiologist wahoooo maybe I can snag myself a pots diagnosis. hopefully#really hoping it is pots actually because then I won’t keep worrying I’m just being lazy or whatever#but other than that things are still not poggers#my neurologist is being very unhelpful ima be real#oh you can’t fall asleep? try meditating :)#girl I can fall asleep I can’t STAY asleep and I’ve TRIED that and it does NOTHING it just makes it harder to sleep actually#one of these days I will be unstoppable. one of these days……..#it’s okish right now because I really don’t have any real responsibilities but VERY SOON I will have to start driving and working and stuff#and I really want to be. you know. not feeling dead when I do those things#anyway ow my head hurts again#which reminds me of something else my neurologist said that pissed me off but I’m not gonna go into that it ain’t worth it
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shouldn’t have checked my bank account as expected my mother has taken thousands more dollars from my savings and has almost run me dry more or less. Cool!
#I’m going to fucking call the bank and ask about a second checking account because she’s never going to make her own fucking account#it’s been like a year since she said she would and it’s just not gonna happen#she owes me thousands of dollars via me paying her fucking overdraft fees and she always says ‘what you think I won’t pay you back?’ no!!!!!#no I don’t!!!!!!! because you literally never have!!!!!!!!!!!#and where the fuck are you going to get like 8000 dollars anyway. because that’s what she owes me at the very least#even if you want to factor in like. paying her monthly for the groceries she buys and cat food and whatever that’s still. thousands of#dollars. and the worst part about it is I just have no safety net anymore#because my savings is basically nothing at this point. like nothing that can help in a dire situation anymore.#I keep thinking about whatever im going to have to end up paying for top surgery and I WOULD have a significant amount saved up to#contribute to that but haha! no I don’t! it’s fucking gone!#and I’ve been getting paid basically fucking nothing lately because of how few hours they’re scheduling me so that does not fucking help#my last paycheck was literally like half of what I should be getting. I made like 1K in the past two paychecks. that’s fucking depressing#anyway I’ve given myself a headache#I’ve been avoiding looking at my bank account because I knew it would be bad and it’d stress me the fuck out but I also have been anxious#not knowing and my mother making a few vague comments that implied she must have fucked me over. so I checked today and yeah she sure did#if I don’t make a new checking account that she can’t access i am actually going to be broke within the nenxt few months at this rate#my head hurts and I am so upset I am so upset I work so fucking hard and it doesn’t even matter i just lose money constantly#I get nothing I just pay her fucking fees and pay for my tuition and pay for everything else of any significance#and I am not exaggerating I work my ass off. I am the only person I know at my job who begs to work holidays and extra days and stay as late#as possible and it . doesn’t even matter#im going to kill myself I swear to god. there’s shit I need to buy. what am I supposed to do.#kibumblabs#vent#like shit I need to buy for WORK. my manager is getting on me about not having proper shoes for example and yeah I can get a discount#through shoes for crews but I still dont have the fucking money for anything anymore#not unless I want to run myself into the fucking ground#I need a new binder badly. I need new black pants also for work since mine are so faded at this point.#I only have one fitted sheet that doesn’t have giant holes in it#I can’t stop thinking about my last paycheck it was literally the worst I’ve seen since starting this job a year ago. fucking infuriating
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Assumptions
Bailey wears mismatched socks because it reminds her of when her mom would tell her to match her socks
Normally Bailey must have matched socks
But sometimes
Sometimes she wears unmatched socks
Cause her bio dad didn't care about matched socks and her mom would tease him about it, and she remembers how in love her parents still were after years of marriage and four kids later.
And sometimes it's cause her new dad doesn't match his socks. And sometimes he's gone for days at a time, and she starts to feel lonely again.
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